Dr. Darcy:

Im a femme and are advised that We seem ‘straight’, whatever it means. Whenever I head to lesbian pubs i will be terminated as ‘bi-curious’ and/or ‘friend-of-a-lesbian’ girl. I’ve two questions:

1) Does being a lesbian mean that I want to butch myself right up in order to be taken seriously?

2) Are there any different ladies who are into trend, cool restaurants, and that happen to be essentially stylish brand-new Yorkers, for whom getting gay is certainly not their entire identification?

You are not alone!

I’ve had this concern presented in my opinion continuously. It isn’t really easy in a residential area and experience invisible, but altering the way you look does not have to be the answer. I am not saying I never had a Brittany minute where We questioned the significance of long-hair, the necessity for still another set of Manolos, additionally the possible change shedding both will have back at my experience in this neighborhood. But when I’ve said before, how to alter a stereotype isn’t through conformity. The feminist movement was meant to give us choices, maybe not restrict all of them.

That said, I believe there are more lesbian and bisexual ladies who have an array of passions including patronizing the “webpage Six” companies and having to pay obscene levels of cash to stay underneath the tents of Fashion month. As a resident New Yorker, my recommendation is look-in this extremely journal when it comes to club-like locations, that’s the place you will undoubtedly find femmes in numbers!

At the same time, buy for yourself a season of

The L Word

, throw on that face mask you do not have time for, and enjoy the recognition your figures provide to many of those who’re femme on the key. Simply to end up being safe, throw out the buzzer for those who have one, minimum you find yourself in a weak second.

E-mail questions to dr.darcysmith@gmail.com or contact 212-604-0144*

*By posting concerns, the author acknowledges that she’s no liberties of confidentiality and this the woman concern of an adaptation thereof are published in GO mag.  Communication between Dr. Darcy Smith and an author cannot constitute a therapeutic connection and this type of a relationship and rights/privileges related to such can just only be established through a scheduled, directly treatment.